Mr Average, my friend, your intellect is anything BUT meagre! And you do have a gorgeous grandson. He will be a very handsome man when he grows up - the girls will certainly be after him! As to whether I will ever love a man the way I love TnT - only God knows the answer to that question. I fell head over heels for TnT, in a way I never have before, and the person it shocked and surprised most of all was me! I think one of the reasons it goes way deeper than anything I have ever felt before, is partly because she is a woman, and as she has said, women understand women. Also, bear in mind that this is the first and only sexual relationship I have ever had, therefore the connection I have with her is like nothing else. Most of the time, I know exactly what she's thinking, and she is the same with me. She can read all my expressions, as can, unfortunately, most people, and I can read hers - often she doesn't even know she's wearing a certain expression, until she sees the way I react. I'm glad you can enjoy my company again - I enjoy yours, and appreciate your hospitality and generosity regarding TnT and I, more than you will ever know. [Saved by Grace]
~~~ I am so amazed and glad that you three have worked things out! I never would have thought it possible. It was quite the mess you were in. But it did happen, YAY for that! Take care Mr. Average, and congrats on the beautiful grandchild. :) ~~~ [Anonimity Is Key]
Darling, what we have experienced is nothing short of a great miracle of God. I love and appreciate you so much. You are such a great blessing to me. I wouldn't want to live without you. I am so happy that we have been given another chance, that you have forgiven Timmy and I, and that we now have the most gorgeous grandson on the planet. God is so good to us, and I just want to sink to my knees and praise Him for all his goodness. The passion I feel for Timmy hasn't died at all, but what God does for strugging believers is astounding. When we choose to walk in obedience to Him, and choose Him over all earthly things, He gives us the strength to overcome temptation and an overwhelming desire to do the right thing. Timmy and I know just how gross we feel after we sin, and even if we were to sin, with your say-so, we would still feel vile the next day, even more vile than we have felt in recent months, simply because we have come so far along the Golden Path, which is flooded with light, that to sin now would bring darkness into our lives that would be in starkest contrast to where we have been. The pain would be too great for us to bear. We do want to give in to our desires, but there is a greater desire that prevents us from doing so. We know that we would have to forego many of the great blessings of God if sinned now. We have really come a long way in Christ, and we are pleased with our progress and enjoying the newfound blessings that come from obedience to God's Word. Thank you so much for your amazing understanding and unconditional love. I adore you, and will be forever grateful to you. You are the world's best husband, we have the world's cutest cats, and the world's cutest grandson. How blessed are we? Thank you, Lord. :) [Trials n Temptations]
This is the first time I've read your diary, but i have read TnT and Timmy's diary. WOW I never knew all this. I don't judge any of you because it's not my place nor my right. If it's in god's hands than everything will be fine. I'm glad to see that you and your wife are getting back on track it's by the grace of god I believe. There will be many more nights to come with you and your wife romantic it may be or just a simple hug. Lord I pray for mr average and tnt that you will bless this marriage for years to come, to wash their hurts and sins away, to bring peace and fulfillment into their souls as they continue down your path. In Jesus name Amen God Bless Love B [subtlechicka]
I am happy that all is going better in your life. There is no limit on Gods credit card! When things seem hard to us, they are not hard for God. How could anything be hard for him to fix,when he is the one who created it all. [lucy5]
I'm back again. I'm so glad that something changed for you during the night. Maybe your personal faith credit card wasn't maxed out after all? :) I'd been praying that things would get better. [Anonymous]
If you had loved me so much, why did you do it? Why didn't you pick a woman you found to be pretty? I think, deep down, you wanted to hurt me in the way that would hurt the most. No other woman would have hurt me as much - not even my own sister. You knew that.
She did the right thing telling me. Had she not, I would have found out. Our sins always find us out - this is a truth you need to learn. I would have discovered you in the act, and you know it, and God knows what would have happened then. I daresay, I would be ten feet underground by now, if I had. Thank God that I found out the way, and when, I did. You have no idea of the tragedy that may have been averted by me finding out the way I did.
I was sinful and wrong to love her and demonstrate that deep love. Had you loved her even one iota, I would have begun to understand what you did, but you said she was ugly and masculine, so all I can see is that you harboured some sort of filthy lust for her, and that I was and am less than her, because your desire for her overrode any remnant of what you once felt for me.
What you say about Christians is so untrue. We are no better than anyone else; we just know that we have an opportunity to become more like Christ, if we place Him at the centre of the Universe. Satan attacks Christians more than he does the unsaved. He has more to lose by leaving Christians alone. The temptations that Christians face are a lot more potent than those faced by unsaved sinners. Satan tends to leave a lot of sinners alone, because their own selfish desires and lusts take care of themselves. If he can induce and seduce a committed Christian to do something they normally wouldn't do, all Hell breaks loose and he has them where he wants them. No excuse, just fact.
I fail to see how Timmy could undermine our relationship, when she knew that she and I could never be together. We were the ones who ended it, time and time again, because of our Christian convictions - BECAUSE we are Christians and for no other reason. You weren't asking us to end it. We ended it because our relationship with God was in peril. That is what a Christian, in a fallen world, really is - someone who endeavours, gets tempted, repents and moves on, only to do it all again, in some different way, further down the track. That is a Christian, and nothing more or less. Any Christian who says he doesn't go through trials and temptations is a liar. We all go through it, and it comes in seasons. No, I am not defending Timmy's actions, but you attacked her form of Christianity, and it is the same as my form of Christianity - we do the best we can, in a sinful, fallen, end-time world - a world where the devil is roaming like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. His time is short, and as the time of Christ's return hots up, he is turning up the heat in his own way, too. We can only expect it to get worse until the coming of Christ - the Bible says so.
Read your Bible - the one I bought you - and you will discover that the disciples of Christ were each tempted to sin, one denying Him and another betraying Him. One or two of them were filled with pride and tended to boast, but they were Christians nevertheless. Only Christ is perfect and fully sanctified. Don't expect from others what you don't see in yourself. [Trials n Temptations]
Oh, so now it's 20 seconds, is it? You told Timmy and I, on the afternoon of 9th February, in the workroom, that it was for about 3 seconds that she touched you. Now it has expanded to 20 seconds. We both know very well that if it had been 20 seconds, it would have been all over, red rover, especially seeing as though it was Timmy touching it.
I still think it is rich, you blaming her for what you did. Yes, she played her part, but you can't blame her for your part.
You make to common mistake of judging Christianity by Christians. Why do you think Christ came to save us? Because we damnwell need it. Satan didn't make her do it, any more than he made me do things with Timmy, but the temptation was there, and all three of us were weak, as all humans are. Don't judge Christianity by sinful humans. You need the grace just as much as she and I do. Jesus paid the price for us to wash away our sins with His atoning blood. Don't you worry about her getting away with it scot free. There are consequences that follow every sin; for every action, there is a reaction. We reap on what we sow. And if you doubt that Timmy is saved, you had better read the Bible and find out just how many sins His blood covers - all of them and I mean ALL. She has repented, and there is no limit to how many times one can repent for the same sin. That's the amazing God we serve. Eventually, if we continue to repent and pray for strength, we lose the desire for the sin, as you have seen with Timmy and I. We have repented so many times, that God has given us the strength to overcome the temptation. It comes from nothing that the Christian is capable of doing or replicating in his own strength. All good things come from God, and the strength to resist temptation comes from God, because we humble ourselves and ask, and for no other reason. Nothing good comes of ourselves or from within ourselves. The nature of Man is purely sinful. ALL are born to sin, and in sin. NOT ONE of us is good enough of ourselves to resist the temptation to sin. If it weren't for Christ dying for us, we would have absolutely no chance of redemption - not ONE of us. No, I am not on her side. I am a separate entity now. I am solo, an island. All I have is God, and all I trust is God. But, take care venting all your anger on her, because you will soon be heading for a fall if you do. She did what she thought was right, after having done a despicable deed. You endeavoured to cover up a cyanide pit and forget about it. She alerted me to the poison in the ground. I was able to begin to deal with it. You would have had her leave it there, and not tell me about it, until it seeped into my water supply and out into my atmosphere, where it had a far greater potential to kill me.
Had you slept with her, or gone even just a little further with her, I would have found out - you can bet your willie on that - because I was praying a lot for the truth to come out. So, why be so angry with her for doing something that would have killed me on the spot a month or two later? [Trials n Temptations]
Mr. Average, the spiritual maturity you display here, is much more than "average." It takes a lot of faith to place this situation where it belongs: in the hands of a loving God. Now the test is, can you leave it where you have placed it, and not take it back again? You are much in my prayers, as are your wife and Timmy. I pray for your peace, and for your healing. [Spirit Song]
This is true grace. To accept that you cannot change what is happening, or that you cannot change anyone else...I know it is a hard place to come to...I've been there myself at times, but it is the place God desires for us to come to in any trial, it is called 'letting go and letting God' in some church vernacular. Only remember that God will never change something that a person is not willing to change...I am praying for all three of you...You all show far more strength and resolve than I believe I would be capable of in a similar situation. God Bless. [Kalita_Kasar]
You tried playing God and being Judge and Jury too and it didn't work Well of course it wouldn't.Now its literally up to them and how they decide to go forth from here.At least you have finally reached the right place.And yes you have to leave it to them.Passionate love will not cease overnight In fact it may never cease so your decision now is how to accept this if it does not end. [truthseeker]
~~~ Wow! That's a pretty hard hand to be dealt, but I understand and almost totally respect your decision to back away from trying to stop it... you definitely know that you can't... it's impossible to change a person in the first place, but secondly, you are right in saying that it's most likely going to make the love and desire grow faster and harder for that other person, if you were to forbid it. Anyway, good luck, and I hope you three all make it through without too much more pain! <3<3<3 *hugs* [TLS]
Thanks for your honesty & for sharing these thoughts about the hand you have been dealt. Gave me some much needed food for thought. I pray for God's best resolution for all of you...God Bless...M [realdeal]
I have not commented to you before, but please know it was not because I didn't care. Thank you so much for your kind comment in TnT's diary. The fact that you can, in your own pain, reach out and appreciate the concern of someone else demonstrates so plainly why TnT loves you as she does. Please know that I have been praying for you for weeks, and I am believing that God will heal your shattered heart. He can put your marriage back together, and cause it to be even stronger than it was. Although I have not walked where you walk, I know you have been hurt deeply, and feel betrayed. Know that you are in my prayers, and that better days are coming. [Spirit Song]
Goodness me :( I am so sad reading both of your diaries :(((((...... T&T, I really feel for you, but you must somehow push through this self deprication... You must somehow forgive yourself for what you have done because your self hatred is just not worthwhile. Just because you loved Timmy does not "make you a lesbian". Even if you decide that you are bisexual, doesn't mean the end of your love for your hubby. Give up Timmy for God's sake, and devote your love to your hubby. I believe it is your self hatred and confusion that has led you to having this affair. Why don't you have some serious counselling and self love so that you may heal; not just from this experience, but from all the pain you have suffered in your life. You do not need to make this situation worse!!!! This affair is a symptom of deeper emotional pain, and not a malicious action on your part. I really feel this to be true. Mister Average.. I'm so sorry you have had to endure this. Your wife, I believe, does love you very much, but is lacking in self love and personal stability. I hope in time she will come to a place where she is at peace with herself and is able to come back to you to love you wholly and herself with peace and love and fidelity. Good luck to you both. [lucylucy]
I AM qualified to pass judgement on your wife's character, or lack of it, and if you ask me she doesn't deserve you. She sucks and deserves to die alone and in misery and shame. You deserve somebody better, and that shouldn't be hard to achieve. The sooner you shake off the dust of your relationship with that slut, the better for you. Let her wallow in her self-created misery for the rest of her days and let her ask the question, "What is so wrong with me?" TnT @};- [Trials n Temptations]
The nature of true love is an age old question that humanity has grappled with since the beginning of time. I think first and foremost that true love is self-sacrificing. When it becomes self serving, it is little more than ego masturbation. I find no fault in you or your character for loving your wife, and can understand your sense of betrayal, confusion and loss. I hesitate to pass judgement on your wife.... simply because I am not worthy to be making judgement calls... but I can say this, I think she obviously violated your love as well as your trust. I wrote an entry on what I thought was true love...or ideal love, some time ago. It is entry number 40 if you care to read it. Just put 40 in the box at the bottom of my diary and click go. Glad to see you updated, been wondering how things were going. [Roma]
~~~ Not true love, not in my opinion, but I'll have to read more of your entries before I understand the situation. As to your question if this guy loves me, No, he doesn't. We just met when we moved into the dorms and read back a few entries, you'll be caught up. Take care! I'll be back & I'll be watching for you! ~~~ [TLS]
she is not right for you. you guys are MARRIED and she "fell in love" with someone else. forget that woman seriously. this is foolish stuff that girls do in high school not in marriage. [flarestar]
sir...all i have to say is that true love does exist...though not for me....but with love, there is never a completeness to it...you can love someone, but reall, can you ever ruly give your mind, body, and soul to that person? Think about it...MadnessLivedOnAndSighed@yahoo. com[Rhea Blake]
What can I say, Darling? I know I was bad and wicked. There are no excuses for what I have done. But, I do love you and I don't want to lose you. Losing you would be intolerable to me. You are my life and my love. We have our whole lives and hearts invested together. I accept that, as a result of my actions, I may well lose you. I am devastated at that thought. I am praying we can work it out and find that promised Golden Lining.
There are times here at Mdd, when I peek into the lives of others that my heart breaks, and I wish that I had some words of encouragement. This is one of those times. The entry prior to this one took alot of courage to write, and I admire you for that. There certainly aren't any easy answers, if there are any at all. Wishing you peace. [Roma]
That was a very good entry, Darling, even if I did have to fix the punctuation before lodging it. Lol. You recorded it all and left nothing of importance out. I am sorry you are hurting and that I am the cause of that pain. You are an incredibly wise and fair man. I don't deserve you. I love you.
Hey ƒº Sorry to be a pest, but I just wanted to let you know that I¡¦ve started my own writers forum, where people who enjoy writing can come and have a look at writing ideas and stories, post their thoughts and their own ideas for stories, and even write there own short stories online. Hopefully I will soon have a community of online writers. I would be thankful if you could take the time to pay me a little visit: http://www.runboard.com/bxkb85x thanks [xKB85x]
